Q & A : 4000.00 in debt plus car loan of 8000.00….

Posted on May 11th, 2009 in Excersises, General, Investing, Q & A | 1 Comment

Q :
I am a 52 year old woman and in 1980 I broke my back and was paralyzed from the waist down.  Wayne Dyer came to see me and encouraged me to walk again and I do but am in constant pain.  It is difficult to work alot. I collect worker’s comp and make a small amount on my own.  I am now 4000.00 in debt  plus my car loan of 8.000 dollars.  I am barely making it and have trouble not flying into fear.  What  suggestion can you give me to stay calm and not so scared.

~C.V.

A :

  1. Find a friend who has no agenda with each others  financial ally or money mentor and meet 4 times a year w/this person to review your finances.
  2. Start collaborating with your friends; you might surprise yourself with a new source of income.
  3. Do the Intentional Spending statement that’s on my website, under tools and resources on the home page.
  4. Read my book – it is all about getting out of fear and into your creativity and wisdom around money
  5. Do the money breath everyday that’s explained in book.

Good luck and remember that there are billionaires in poor health who would envy your situation.

As the Economy Falters, Marriages Stumble

Posted on January 21st, 2009 in Couples, Excersises, Money Madness | Leave A Comment

As the stock market tumbles, relationship woes soar. According to numerous studies, money is the number one cause of divorce in the U.S.

Now more than ever, couples are facing a huge challenge:  How to keep their marriages and relationships healthy in an ailing economy. Financial stress saps couples of intimacy and trust. Many lack the skills and the willingness to talk openly about such a sensitive and difficult subject.

Spencer Sherman has created a unique method for couples to achieve “Financial Intimacy” and begin the process of talking about money openly and without blame and shame. His simple techniques allow couples to realize the true value of their partner, and achieve calm through the ups and downs of their balance sheet. Learning to eliminate secrets, lies, and overspending are just a few ways couples are able to get back on track, increase intimacy, and make their relationship recession-proof.

Sherman helps couples to share their financial histories, including their earliest memories.  He calls this Getting Naked with Your Finances.  Sherman has discovered that money, far more than sex, is the last taboo.  But great riches await those who can shine a light into their dark financial corners and share openly with their partners.  Once their histories are known, couples can articulate their financial values and goals and start working together as a team to build their financial future.  An empty bank account can be the impetus to do this intimacy-enhancing work.  But the result is surely a strong nest egg and a stronger marriage.

Spencer is the author of The Cure For Money Madness (Broadway Books ‘09 ), a guide to overcoming the distorted childhood perceptions of money which poison relationships, impede intimacy, and interfere with our making money and enjoying the money we have. Spencer teaches Financial Intimacy and Freedom Workshops for couples.  He is the CEO of Abacus Wealth Partners.   www.abacuswealth.com

Spencer is available for interviews, speaking engagements, and workshops worldwide. www.curemoneymadness.com

Cure Money Madness : The Money Breath

Posted on March 10th, 2008 in Excersises, Experiences, Money Madness, Uncategorized | Leave A Comment

I am waiting to discover the perfect way to help people find the cure for Money Madness - the hidden emotions and misperceptions around money that lead to dysfunctional, irrational financial behavior, again and again.

One of the ways I have found this is the ‘Money Breath’ :

Every single time you interact with money-investing, spending, saving, earning, giving, or talking about money-do what I call the money breath.

Inhale deeply through the nose and let your rib cage and chest expand as you fill your lungs with air. One, two, three seconds.

At the top of the inhalation, lungs filled, pause and hold your breath.

Now exhale, letting your breath out easily through your open mouth. Four, five, six seconds.

At the bottom of the exhale, say to yourself, aloud if you can: “May my money wisdom increase.”

Do the money breath and you cut through your money madness. You interrupt your automatic conditioned response to your childhood money message, slowing everything down just long enough to question the response. Physiologically, the money breath relaxes your blood flow after the adrenaline rush of madness has constricted it, and it gets more oxygen to the brain, letting you think more clearly.

Practice the money breath persistently until it becomes automatic. Do it when you’re buying your morning paper, or discussing bills with your partner, or going into a job interview. Just stop. Be idle, take six seconds, breathe, and ask for money wisdom.

Then, when you’re ready, take the money breath to the next level. As you inhale, consciously take in the emotion that drives your money monster-fear, anxiety, greed. Feel it; take it into your body. If fear is the feeling, tell yourself: I am taking in my fear.

Pause at the top of the breath, then exhale, consciously breathing out confidence, clarity, joy, and wisdom. Say to yourself: I am sending out wisdom and joy. Let it move through you and pour out of your body, replacing the emotion that drives the money madness.

You will find that it is hard to be afraid when you are offering goodness to others.

 

Notes on relaxing about money :

 

Ten Sure Fire Ways To Relax Everyday. | Financial Freedom … – You can still practice the art of relaxation every single day. Then you can take that coveted vacation with the whole family when you’ve made that extra money. Here are Ten Sure Fire Ways To Relax Everyday. …

How To Relax About Money, by SARK – Instead of a recession, the artist and poet SARK wishes we would see ourselves as being on a “money recess!” Here is an essay she wrote in 1990 called, How To Relax About Money. Try calling her 24-hour inspirational phone-line if you …

Hey, Relax – It’s Only Money – I found the video below over on BoingBoing where they’ve set up an open thread on the latest crash and burn antics of those lovable wacky Wall Street wankers. Cheer up. Relax. And try to remember this: Money isn’t really real. …

Not Getting on That Jet to Oprah’s house

Posted on October 30th, 2007 in Excersises, Money Madness | Leave A Comment

As soon as I was invited to Oprah’s house on a private jet, I noticed my excitement and fear. “Wow,” my little boy said, “this is cool – no lines, no security barriers, I’m like royalty!” Then the fear arose: “what if I love the private jet, will I feel pressure to buy one?” I’ve always believed that “you get what you pay for.” Would I get exponentially more pleasure from this ride than a coach seat on Jet Blue? Cause that’s how much it costs to ride on a jet-exponentially more than a commercial plane. “You get what you pay for” influenced me to buy a luxury car I didn’t need and sold one year later, work non-stop to make more money to afford things I thought I’d need, overbuy clothes just because they’re higher quality, put rich people on pedestals and feel separate from and less than them and consequently feel better than low income people – not a great strategy for developing friendships and business connections.
Like many of us, I got the message as a young child that there is something magical about rich people and the services and products they use.
So, back to the airplane. We arrive at the private hangar, park, wait 15 minutes in a reception area, then board the plane. No security lines, no i.d. check, no safety announcement, no baggage screening or metal detectors. They invite you on board, then immediately, without a word from the pilot (Doesn’t anyone care if we buckle up? Apparently not.) we’re moving and up in the air. Hey, I can see the pilot right through the open door! The time from parking the car to departure is a total of 20 minutes. Try to replicate that in a relaxed, stress-free manner on a commercial flight.
I sit. I feel my knees touch the opposing knees of the tall fellow facing me. Yes, we’re sitting sideways and we’re tilting left as we ascend. I smile and realize “Hey, even coach class on a commercial flight has more leg room and at least I’m always facing forward!” Here, only four of the sixteen passengers are faced forwards. What a relief. I can scratch “private jet” off Santa’s list.
Then I laugh. The kid wanted a private jet and the adult found reasons to reject it. I witness these feelings of excitement, fear of being greedy, and just plain fear. The kid wants it all. I don’t try to squash the greed or subdue the fear. I befriend the twins and start to feel spaciousness in my mind. An openness ensues which allows me to enjoy the moment without the attachment to or rejection of any future actions. Just enjoying the kid and allowing the twins to hang out in the presence of joy. Fear, greed, joy all together now. If they can co-exist, I can allow myself the gift of this moment. The freedom of feeling joy now, of enjoying the wonder of flight without any thought or need for another private jet in my life. OK, now I’m getting this money madness thing down.