As the stock market tumbles, relationship woes soar. According to numerous studies, money is the number one cause of divorce in the U.S.

Now more than ever, couples are facing a huge challenge:  How to keep their marriages and relationships healthy in an ailing economy. Financial stress saps couples of intimacy and trust. Many lack the skills and the willingness to talk openly about such a sensitive and difficult subject.

Spencer Sherman has created a unique method for couples to achieve “Financial Intimacy” and begin the process of talking about money openly and without blame and shame. His simple techniques allow couples to realize the true value of their partner, and achieve calm through the ups and downs of their balance sheet. Learning to eliminate secrets, lies, and overspending are just a few ways couples are able to get back on track, increase intimacy, and make their relationship recession-proof.

Sherman helps couples to share their financial histories, including their earliest memories.  He calls this Getting Naked with Your Finances.  Sherman has discovered that money, far more than sex, is the last taboo.  But great riches await those who can shine a light into their dark financial corners and share openly with their partners.  Once their histories are known, couples can articulate their financial values and goals and start working together as a team to build their financial future.  An empty bank account can be the impetus to do this intimacy-enhancing work.  But the result is surely a strong nest egg and a stronger marriage.

Spencer is the author of The Cure For Money Madness (Broadway Books ‘09 ), a guide to overcoming the distorted childhood perceptions of money which poison relationships, impede intimacy, and interfere with our making money and enjoying the money we have. Spencer teaches Financial Intimacy and Freedom Workshops for couples.  He is the CEO of Abacus Wealth Partners.   www.abacuswealth.com

Spencer is available for interviews, speaking engagements, and workshops worldwide. www.curemoneymadness.com

I was in the shower this morning  thinking:  “Oh, when the markets come back and the business world revives, I’ll have more money.  I’ll feel more at ease.  I’ll be happier.”  Of course, three years ago my clients and I had more money.  And I remember that my clients and I were upset about various world events, our elected officials, our jobs, our commutes.  And we were worried about our money, too.   We were no happier back then than we are now.  The opportunity for today is to let go of the myth that more money will make us happy.

If we can let go of this thought we can have happiness and peace right now. Because happiness and peace have nothing to do with the amount of money you have.  When you know that, you’re free.  You can yell at your TV “CNN, you do not determine  my happiness!”  You can choose to be happy because of your own intelligence and creativity, your potential, your community of friends and family, the fact that the sun reliably rises in the sky every day.  We are not victims of  the markets.  We don’t need to wait for the markets to come back.  Were you really happier when the economy was strong?  Or were you just worried about other things?  Cultivate the things that make you happy and your happiness will grow.

And if you really want to add to your happiness, stop watching or reading the news for 1 week.  Feel your bliss grow.