We can all experience peace, joy, and abundance around money, and the key to success isn’t winning the lottery, being born rich or having the most prestigious MBA—it’s overcoming Money Madness.
What is Money Madness? It comes in many forms: The woman who can't save a dime even though her income keeps increasing. The investor who habitually buys high and sells low. The man who resents his wife because she bought a jar of capers for a whopping $5 but failed to tell her about his $5,000 hot tub purchase the same day (that was me). The man who said "I do," to marriage, but not to sharing bank statements with his wife (that was me, too!).
Where does this madness come from? We all acquire ideas about money in early childhood that shape our feelings about money in adulthood. For example: When I was eight, I asked my father how much money he made. His only reply was a look so angry and disappointed that I learned then and there not to talk about money. This lesson had profound consequences. In my early years as a financial advisor, the memory of my father's withering look was so powerful that I discounted my fees just to avoid having a money conversation with my clients!
Curing my own personal money madness—the emotions around money that fuel self-destructive financial behavior—was the first and most important step toward true financial success. Unless we address the emotional foundations of our beliefs about money, none of the money advice, money expertise or money we make will get us any closer to lasting financial ease and peace. Without a healthy emotional relationship to our finances, no tips, tricks or good intentions can produce truly sustainable results.
The Cure for Money Madness is a profound, practical method for increasing self-awareness around money and overcoming the distorted childhood perceptions of money that still affect you today. Learn more about an aspect of Money Madness by downloading my free e-book.
I am the CEO and founder of Abacus Wealth Partners, LLC and have been named by Worth Magazine as one of the top 100 wealth advisors in the U.S. since 2005. After 20 successful years as a financial advisor dedicated to increasing my clients' net worth, it is humbling to realize that the key to financial success has less to do with the amount of money we have or earn and much more to do with our emotional relationship to money.
Welcome, and I look forward to enabling both financial experts and financial novices to feel ease, joy, and sufficiency around money.
Warmly,
Spencer D. Sherman, MBA, CFP
CEO & Co-Founder of Abacus Wealth Partners
Changing The World, One Portfolio at a Time
Spencer is the author of The Cure For Money Madness (Broadway Doubleday '09 ), a guide to overcoming the distorted childhood perceptions of money which poison relationships, impede intimacy, and interfere with our making money as well as enjoying the money we have. Spencer is also the co-creator and co-leader of the Financial Intimacy and Freedom Workshop. Learn more at www.financialintimacy.info.
Spencer was named one of the top 100 wealth advisors in the United States by Worth magazine in 2005-2008. (He was named by Worth to their list of top 250 advisors in 1999 and to their list of top 300 in 1998.) Bloomberg Money Manager listed him as one of their top money managers in 2005, 2003, and 2002, and Medical Economics listed him as one of the 150 best advisors for doctors in 2004, 2002, 2000, and 1998. He was also named by the Philadelphia Business Journal as one of the top 40 under (age) 40 business leaders in Philadelphia in 1999. Spencer is a member of the Social Venture Network as well as the Social Investment Forum.
A few of his areas of expertise are philanthropic and charitable planning; generational planning; cash flow and "second half" planning; creating low-cost,tax-efficient, low volatility investment portfolios (including socially screened portfolios); couples and money, and business consulting.
Spencer was born and raised in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in economics from Brandeis University in 1983 (Phi Beta Kappa), an M.B.A. in Finance from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania in 1987, and the CFP® designation in 1990. Since starting his firm in 1987, he has been widely quoted in the financial press and on television. He co-leads workshops for couples and singles called "Financial Intimacy and Freedom." He has created presentations on "Increasing Philanthropic Contributions of Your Clients" and "Transforming Our Money Conditioning." Spencer was selected to write the chapter "Money: the Surprising Aphrodisiac" in an anthology on relationships with Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Scott Peck, Thich Nhat Hanh, and others.
Spencer has appeared on CNBC's "Make Your Money Work" with Bill Griffith, and on Philadelphia's "NBC 10 News" where he cut up his credit cards on the air.
Spencer D. Sherman -
CFP, MBA
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THE RAINBOW PORTFOLIO™
ASK SPENCER
Q:
How do I let go of guilt spending money on things I need but imagine I could get for a cheaper price elsewhere? When shopping, I find myself saying what my mother said to me in the store so many years ago—“We could make that…” 90% of the time we didn’t—but I find myself saying, You could buy four pairs for pants for the price of one if you go to a thrift store insted.
~Donna, Sebastopol, CA
A:
Dear Donna,
It’s important to recognize that there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to save money. It’s a good instinct, and should indeed be part of everyone’s financial planning, but the instinct can run amok, leaving us unable to experience joy around the money we have that we can afford to spend.
So, what can you afford to spend? Sit down and look at the numbers. The task may be daunting, but ultimately, it will help liberate you from your money madness. You may discover that, mathematically, you can comfortably afford a much larger stipend for clothing than you allow yourself. Or, you may discover that spending much less will do much more for your bottom line.
Either way, it’s important to appreciate that this notion from your childhood—that you should feel guilty for spending anything but the rock-bottom price on items you want or need—is just that: a notion, not a truth, not a law of the universe. The source of your guilt isn’t a rock-solid fact, but someone’s opinion about their life based on their experience.
Then, marry your awareness of the numbers with your awareness of the emotional angle by creating an Intentional Spending Statement. An ISS isn’t based on the hard and fast numbers of budgeting, but on a realistic range of spending options—anything between the least amount we think is reasonable for what’s needed and the most amount that we can afford to spend on the item. A budget number is a limit—“I will spend not a penny more than $75 on running shoes at the mall today”—while an intention, perhaps a range of from $65 to $95 for running shoes, offers a field of choice. And where a budget is hard to stick to and rather easy to break or go around, an intention is wider in girth—tougher to avoid, yet with more give.
Over time, keep coming back to the numbers; keep reminding yourself that your childhood money message has no intrinsic truth; and practice managing your expenses with the structure and fluidity of intention. I think you’ll find your guilt greatly diminished, and your mastery and joy around your money greatly increased.
